Have you noticed that I haven’t written a post in over a week? Maybe not. Maybe a week isn’t that long of a break. Even so, I’ve kept pounding my head against the wall forcing myself to get it together and write. Until today. Allow me to share what I learned…..
As people living in a society obsessed with the pursuit of achievement and production, it doesn’t come as a surprise to hear this obsession within the body of Christ. Phrases such as “Did you read and study your Bible today?” and “Did you spend an hour in prayer and devotion?” are replayed in our ears and minds. We often tend to view the Christian walk as a small series of achievements we need to reach before we can rest and say, “I’ve done your work today God, now I know you’re happy with me.” I’ve ridden this cycle numerous times over and I never fail to underachieve. I’m never one hundred per cent happy with the work I’ve done. As a writer and apologist, I not only find myself asking the questions above but also questions that demand I work harder. “You only studied until 11:30? Yeah, you’re not really doing your best for God. You’re not really pursuing the work God has called you to do.” Harsh, right?
Today I was feeling particularly guilty. I prayed for a few minutes in the morning, read a couple chapters of Acts, read a page of devotion, and finished with a few pages from an apologetics book. I felt guilty because I truly just wanted to do nothing but listen to a new album I bought, read a good novel, and watch an anime I’ve been really enjoying. The work I did do felt like a chore, to be honest, and I only felt more guilty because of it. That’s when I stumbled upon a new video by Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North.
Mike’s message is one we all so desperately need, myself needing it the most. To know that we are wanted, not because of the work we do/are going to do, but because we are His and His alone. To realize that God is in control and that everything we do to serve God came first as a gift from His hands. No longer am I going to worry about how much I’m doing for God right now. No longer am I going to feel like I’m doing nothing now when a ministry is promised later. We are in the most important times of our lives, and I’m going to spend it wasting time with God and allowing Him to control and direct my steps, even when I feel I need to walk further.